Remembering Wolfmann

Again, words are not enough to explain how I feel.

Received a text message from Vin this afternoon, a bit past 4pm, saying that Wilfrid had passed away. The Wolfmann is now free.

And although I hardly know Wolf, I am distraught at how things have turned out to be. What more pa kaya yung family and close friends niya? They must be feeling 100x more than the grief I am experiencing.

Just like most of the people I've come to know in the past two years that I've dipped into the lokal gig scene, Wolfmann is a brilliant musician, and more importantly a kind soul and an inspiration to many.

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I was never a fan of danceable music; in fact, I am allergic to dancing (ask my highschool friends). So I guess accepting an invite from Wolfmann himself to join his Yahoogroup was a pretty monumental moment in my music fanlife. See, that's Wolf - humble enough to reach out to the fans (or future fans) himself. May personal touch kumbaga, at hindi distant.

So I got to know about this guy named Wilfrid Hernandez, a.k.a. Wolfmann. As of then, electronica was unchartered territory for me. But Wolfmann's stuff made me realize that electronica music can actually rock! Wolf came out with an album called DINER. The music was kick@ss stuff that reminded me of the first Matrix soundtrack. And the album launch was one helluva party, so fashyown! DINER (and later on Squid9's Kraken Modular album) successfully widened my musical taste and showed me how much more there was to appreciate about the lokal independent music scene. By the way, Diner was already Wolf's second album. Breaking the Beat Project, the first album, is some fine sh*t too!

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One personal Wolfmann moment I would never forget was when I boldly (read: kapalmuks) asked him if I could hitch a ride from Saguijo to Paranaque. It was the March 2005 Admit One gig, which I attended alone and without a prospect of a ride home. So nung nakita ko si Wolf, I asked kung pwede makisabay sa kanya pauwi, since he lived in the Las Pinas area. Without a moment's hesitation, the good guy said yes.

I don't think I'll ever forget those 30 minutes or so from Saguijo to BF Homes. We got to talk about stuff. He mentioned he was going to mass with his family the next day (Palm Sunday), which is why we left Saguijo relatively early. I asked about the songs Wolfmann+ was coming up with. On the South Super Highway, Butterfly Carnival was playing on NU. Wolf turned up the volume, saying he loved that song. Later on, we passed by a vehicular accident - a car was parked right under the Skyway, FACING US. That must've been some turnaround, and the car was prolly speeding. The driver seemed to be ok naman; he was still in his seat making a phone call. Wolf commented he was glad we were doing just around 40-50, or else baka nadamay pa kami sa aksidenteng yun.

We stopped over at Ministop just outside Tahanan Village, Wolf bought a pack of cigs. And the nice thing was Wolf actually remembered where I lived. He'd been to my house before; he did Kris (Dancel, Cambio/Fatal Posporos) a favor by dropping off the Fatal Posporos CD I asked for at my house. Too bad it was my sis who was outside, and Wolf was kinda in a hurry so he just gave the CD to my sis and left. Di ko man lang siya napasalamatan in person so tinext ko nalang.

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I dreamed of Wolf before. Something about us dropping by Manresa (his alma mater, where I also studied Prep and Grade One) because he had to get his gear since he had a gig that night. Ewan, labo, hehe.

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Saw Wolf sitting with Tani and Leigh last Friday night at Rockestra. Wanted to wave hello, pero medyo malayo ako and he wasn't looking in my direction so sabi ko baka later nalang. Sana nakapag-hi nalang ako, kasi goodbye na pala yun.

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Ang isang malaking kasalanan ko kay Wolf is that, aside from his DINER album launch and one short gig at the UP Bahay ng Alumni, I didn't go to any of his gigs :( He'd always text about his gigs, especially when Wolfmann+, the group, was already in action. Sadly, I never found time for a Wolfmann gig, and I guess that's something I'll regret for the rest of my life.

Also, I didn't make any effort to have Wolf play at Pisay. He once asked about Kwentuhan Sessions when he heard about it through Twisted Halo. I told him I'd see what I can do. But I never went further than texting him that, because I felt that Pisay kids weren't ready for Wolfmann's stuff yet. Sorry Wolf. Not that I doubted your talent, but I was apprehensive about the open-mindedness of the students. My mistake :(

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Wrote him a Friendster testimonial for his birthday last year, part of which said:

Just wanna wish you more gigs, more albums, and more rockin years to come! =D

Hindi na pala magkakatotoo yung wish na yun.

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He would've been 29 this November. So young. Too young to go. Is it a sin to ask God, "WHY"? Ang dasal ko kay God kahapon was kung ano man yung will Niya, tulungan nalang Niya tayong maintindihan yun. Easier said than done, of course. I mean, Wolf's at the prime of his career. Ang dami pa niyang magandang magagawa, ang dami pa niyang kaibigang matutulungan at mabibigyan ng inspirasyon. Why does he have to go so soon?

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As I said, I'd never forget that ride home with Wolf. But what I'd treasure most was the ride of a lifetime that is his music.

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Salamat sa musika, kaibigang Wolfmann! We're all gonna miss you, but we know that you're in a better place now.

Wouldn't wanna say goodbye...maybe...see you later :)