But now, I realize I am slowly changing. I am coming to terms with this new phase in my life - pretty soon, I will be someone's wife, and a bit later on, a mother to my very own children. It's not like my job at Pisay wherein if I fail at my job of teaching the Philippines' best, I can try to do better next school year (if I get another chance at the job), or I can just look for somewhere else to teach.
By the end of this year, I'll be accountable not just to my superiors or students, but to my husband, to my very own family. Much will be expected of me, and, truth be told, it scares me a whole lot. This new life that awaits me is not like some job I can keep or change at will or by force. I realize now that this new life demands a new me.
I know there is a lot about me that I need to change if I am soon to be a wife and mother. Making a list would probably help, but I'm pretty sure it'll scare me more than encourage me...at least at first. So I'll keep that list in my head in the meantime; maybe soon I'll find the courage to put down in black and white (whether it'll see itself in print here, though, isn't a sure shot). All I know is that if I want to better myself, there are some bad habits I've got to let go of.
I guess this whole post was set off by this tidbit from my subscription to www.simpletruths.com:
Breaking bad habits is [hard work]. The physical and mental pain can be grueling, whether you're trying to exercise more, smoke less, drink less, eat healthier, or work less...it's never easy. But the benefits to your health and to your attitude can be priceless. Breaking a habit starts with courage, ends with discipline, and is fueled by desire.Here's something to kickstart your 2009: a 3-minute inspirational video about "The Power of Attitude" Let's throw in some Robbie Williams too.
If you make good habits, they in turn will make you. But like the weeds in the garden, bad habits can take over your life. Make a decision today to pull those weeds.
This is "Better Man", from the 2000 album "Sing When You're Winning".
Once you've found that lover you're homeward bound. Love is all around. ...Lord I'm doing all I can to be a better man.